For Those I Miss

This is something i wrote as essentially a vent piece about people who gave me trauma. The people that made me crave validation and attention and ripped it all away.

Every time I get a notification I secretly hope it's from you,

not in the sense that talking to you would fix things,

if anything it would wreck me further,

but I long for a world in which we could set things right,

for a time where I could ask my questions:

why? why? why did I get so easily discarded?

was it my own fault? did I love too much? care too much?

I bet you don't ever think of me, if you do it's probably not for long,

but every time my screen lights up I think of you,

even you who used me to fulfil his desires, even when I said no,

you who abandoned me one night after saying you'd love me forever,

you who I ran from knowing I couldn't be enough,

you who I cannot name, my first loss, who set me on this path of mutually assured destruction

you, who is free, who once told me my voice was the one thing that would help you calm down,

all of you, I'll never hear your voices, or read your words, but every night, when I check my phone, some silly part of me just wishes you'd say hello.

contact me!: luna@soup3461.com

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